Isn't having a crush the most exciting thing ever? Having those fantasies about him and trying to know everything about him?
Well that actually suck! Every crush that i have has always something wrong with it. So this guy that i have a crush on and he knows it and he thinks that i should make the first move (pussy?) & well i 'll never do that tbh.
But now he's going around with that other girl and i don't have the fucking right to be jealous cause he's not even mine! not that i'm jealous or anything but meeeh.
And well there's this other guy that i kinda like like him but he's seven years older so lets see how's this gonna work
A guide in this world would probably help rn. I just need someone.
So lately i've been messed up and every choice that i make, the opposite of it was better. It's like i only see one part of the deal not both.
It's just so hard to make choices with everyone around you watching you like your parents! Everything that i do, my family judges me or even my friends. I just need to go on a vacation all alone for a while to get things straight.
I can't even face my own decisions. I always worry about what people would say or think about me while in reality people will talk anyways so i guess i should go with my wants.
After 17 years in this house i discovered that it's hell living with three boys (not counting my father). It's like everything i do or want is really stupid to them technically my mom is always on their side. It's just so fucked up and i gave up on asking them for anything even for going out!
On the other hand i feel totally alone and i don't really feel comfortable telling my friends what's pissing me off so it's just so hard to take it all. Yeah it's my problem and i'm stupid but that's just me!
Haven't been on here for ages but who cares?! & just discovered that i have to pay money to change my username, WTF!!!
Anyways my life has been totally fictional recently; books, movies & TV shows. It's actually better than the actual world, isn't it?
And i have this really stupid crush thing on my BFF's crush but it's like, i can't help it. I've noticed him before she even said anything so it's not like i'm doing anything wrong i guess. But he's into rock music & he's really cool and i just wish we'd develop anything anytime soon cause i'm giving up on good people in this world, lol.
Life is perfectly perfect rn (avoiding the fact that i hate almost everyone).
I guess i live at the club during this summer. It's like, i know every single face there and i know most names, even those whom i never talked to before. So i met loads of new friends & i have 2 crushes (hopeless, yeah).
Soooooooo, i unblocked my crush/lover/whatever today for whatsapp. Lol i love him, what can i say. He's really good.
- Current Location:Home
- Current Mood: hopeful
- Current Music:My songs know what you did in the dark